Chronicles of Chaos

Chronicles of an existence... Perfect Order within the Chaos.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Mortality Smortality

I had this conversation with my GP lately, on the added risks of a PCOS sufferer. He mentioned that I was at higher risk of Diabetes 2 and asked if I had been tested.

I related my life theory to him. I told him that if I were ever to be inflicted with a terminal disease... I would choose not to know about it since no cure is in sight. I said that I find people who discover they have little time left to live, seem to lose that intrinsic value to life no matter how positive a front they put forth to the world. Others... spend the remaining time they have left, ticking off a check list of must-dos.

I suppose I can afford to say this now... because I do not have a partner nor dependants in my life at the moment. But I assured the doctor that I have been living my life the best way I know how, and I have no check list I need to tick off. I want to live my remaining days exactly how I would if I were not ill and when the time comes... I will just leave the world as is. I have done all that I think I need to do within my means... I don't want to waste the time I have left, being depressed and watching people around me worry and cry.

That being said though... I have to add in a disclaimer. Should I be inflicted with a non-terminal disease such as diabetes... I might want to take steps now to prevent it. Simple reason being... er... Chaos is quite the wuss to pain. Heh... says the one who wants to leave the world not knowing of her terminal condition if that were ever to happen.

Irony of life in Chaos' world... gotta love it.