He won't tell

There was a group of us in Sec. 3 and 4 who were rather close to one another at one point in time. For two main reasons. Mahjong and bowling.

The school holidays would more often than not find us congregating at the home of one of the group, Kent, for overnight mahjong. At 15, I've already had the experience of playing mahjong 24 hours straight. We would gather at his place at 9a.m. and play all the way through till 9a.m. the next day, bar toilet and meal breaks. This was one of only two times in my life that I managed to fall asleep on public transport (the other being BMT) and had to be "rescued" from being locked in a bus by another bus driver at the interchange.

Kent and I gradually lost contact with each other after the 'O' levels. One of those friends I passively lost down the years. I often wondered why.

Until 淑 told me the following around 2000.

She told me that Kent had been grappling with his sexuality since Sec. 3. He only came to terms with it (he is gay) during his JC years. I had actually had small suspicions here and there but this admission by 淑 was the confirmation.

For all those years, he had confided his worries with 淑. Amongst the things he told her was that he didn't dare (yes, he used that word!) to tell me about it. He felt I would never be able to accept that fact and accept his friendship if he had.

I bristled when I heard her say it. Alright, so I am pretty conservative in outlook, but that is with respect to my own life only. I accept people for who they are! I would have accepted you the way you are too, Kent. *Sigh* But it is all too late now...