A Question Of Face

I went onto yahoo messenger the other day out of sheer boredom.

I met old friends whom I have chatted with 6 years ago but have never met, mainly because we are all in different countries although all are asians. This is a good thing for me though. I have never engaged in chatting for any other reason than to chat. I don't believe in enlarging my circle of friends thru a chat line nor finding 'The One' or a fuck buddy (FB) thru it. What results thereafter is just comfortable exchange of opinions and views. The chat is there for my convenience and I have the shields of a keyboard and a monitor to screen out potential predators.

I met one such old friend recently. He was all too concerned about my current emotional state which started my alarm bells to go a-clanging (Translation: Certain species of guys who are immediately concerned about your emotional state, even though they have never been all that close a friend to you, just spell out sexual predator to me). I was happy for the distraction though and was grateful this was just chat and nothing more.

He emailed his picture without me asking for anything, which further confirmed that he might be as shallow as I am beginning to believe he might be. I didn't return the favour. Having a realised mental picture of me does not a good conversation make. He started saying that he wanted me to move on with life and persisted in us going out. I made it clear then that I was not comfortable meeting new people and certainly have no lack of friends around me, much as that might seem unfathomable.

A week later, he started giving me attitude. Of course, being the polite person I sometimes can be, I asked what was bugging him, but truthfully not really caring if he answered me or not. That was when he revealed that he isn't the sort of person to just remain a chat buddy. He went onto paint a pretty picture of how he likes to care for his real friends by meeting up with them and giving real comfort *quirk of mouth as I type this*. I wasn't foolish enough to ask what the extent of 'real comfort' meant. I saw where this 'emotional blackmail' was going and didn't really say more than 'OK'. He got flustered after I didn't type more after that. He asked if I was gonna ignore him. (You think???)

Anyways, it still surprises me that at this 'tender' age of 31, I still come across 31 yr old guys who still go with the emotional blackmail operatus modi. Perhaps if I was 15, it might have. But babe... I have been around the block and then some, perhaps you should try Door Number 2 instead coz Door Number 1 ain't opening until hell has frozen over!

That being said, I have to qualify my thoughts on chat friends. I have met and made firm friendships with people this way... but these are people who have no other intention in their bones besides being a friend. After over 6 years, our friendships are still going on strong and one of them has come to be known as my 'break-up guy'. He has always stood there beside me, nursing my mental health back to par whenever I crumbled and in turn, I have tried to impart on him some of my stoic strength which he seems to need in making the next big leap in his life.

Amusing but strange on how some view the net sometimes. Some of us are so sheltered into cultural social norms that all that matters is what the person looks like. I wonder if everything in our life has to be what society deems successful. Does that include having 'successful' and great looking friends?